In Nomine Patris
by bloomsburry
Summary: I was born an Orphan and all I want is a family and a father who will love me... "You know who I was. You know who I am.You know who I would become..You know who…No need to whisper my name..." (a very dark story about the Riddle family) - Non-magical AU. (fem Tom Riddle as Tamorra Gaunt)


In nomine Patris (in the name of the father)

Et filli (and of the son)

Et Spiritus Sancti (and of the Holy Spirit)

Amen.

…..

When I was a child, I was taught to believe in God, to believe in his promise of heaven.

But how could I?

When all my life I had lived in hell?

...

Every night I had prayed.

And every night I had hoped and wished for God to hear me.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." was the start and end in each of my prayers.

Not knowing that God had forsaken me since the day I was born.

...

As I grew older, I had stopped believing in the higher power.

I no longer prayed…

I no longer wished…

I was no longer the foolish child who dreamed those innocent dreams...

That child was gone…

Dead long ago.

...

But I learned...

I learned how to take care of myself when no one ever could.

I learned to love myself when there was no love to be had.

I learned how to take, and take, and not give anything back.

I learned that there was nothing out there that I couldn't have...

…

And I want everything...

...

When I was a child, I knew the Ten Commandments by heart.

I had memorized it, and learned to live with it.

Even more as years passed by.

However..

It's not how you might expect.

...

When I was a child, I was taught how to be good.

I was...

 _GOOD_.

V _ERY_ good.

Yet they didn't know that I taught myself what _evil_ was like.

….

There's no God or the Devil…

There's no heaven nor hell…

There's only _that_ moment…

The choices that you make.

And the consequences of each…

The never-ending struggle for what life throws at you.

There's only this…

There's only _now_ …

….

…

So…

Are you prepared for what awaits you?

If you are…

Then, let us begin…

Let's start with the sign of the cross and the holy trinity.

For you are going to need it to reach the end of this dark story.

You need a guiding light.

You need your _God_.

You need to pray when you see the devil between the lines.

…

 _In the name of the father._

 _And of the son._

 _And of the Holy Spirit…_

 _Amen…_

…

 _Dear Lord.._

 _Hear my prayers_

…

…

I met him when he came into the shop where I worked.

I was at the back room, sorting and listing down the new packages that arrived that day, which had been bought from an auction.

My hand flew over the sheet of paper secured in the clip board, writing down the description whilst counting the number of items, and recording every little details of the latest inventory that I had received.

I was standing amongst the dust-covered shelves and boxes and assorted antiques that occupied most of the back room; my mind focused with the task at hand.

There was a storm raging outside - of which I tried my best to ignore.

The drumming beat of the raindrops pounded over the slated roof and drowned every other noise in the vicinity.

Otherwise, I would have heard _HIM_ arrived, the sound of his Lamborghini Veneno, the limited edition supercar, sliding into the small parking lot at the front of the shop. It's silver and green paintwork, and layers of highly-reflective parts, gleaming as it caught the red-orange glow coming from the streetlight.

The supercar's V12 engine purred sexily as it was revved up for a second before it fell in silence, when he took off his car key. It was barely audible through the storm, the CLICK-CLICK-CLICK of the flickering lights, and the roar of blood right next to my ear.

My heart had been pounding wildly in my chest as I waited for the thunder to pierce through the overcast skies.

In that second, I had been unaware of _his_ existence, not knowing that he was close to destroying my perfectly-ordered life.

He had been getting out from his car. In each sides, right next to the scissor doors of the car as he pushed it opened, the customized family crest of his family, forged in composite carbon-fiber, was displayed proudly. It must have cost quite a fortune, more than the expected price. For there was only three of those cars that were sold to customers in the world, and it cost around €3,120,000 each.

Yet he could afford to spend that much on a car.

Because he was rich.

 _Filthy_ rich.

If I had known that he would come barging into my life, and turned my world upside down, I would have killed him on the spot.

As it were, the meeting was inevitable.

I recalled the cracked of lightning that day; sharply and clearly, like it had only been yesterday.

The brief flash of light had cast a long shadow of my tall figure across the opposite wall.

I remembered the shiver that had raced up and down my spine when the light bulb - hanging from the ceiling - had unexpectedly flickered on and off from the electrical disturbance.

 _CLICK – CLICK – CLICK_ had been the sounds - like the shutter of a camera - as the light blinked, flickered, and stuttered into darkness, and coming back to life once more.

Mounting dread had coiled at the pit of my belly then. The terror - that I had known too well – slowly crept into my mind as I silently waited for the deafening sound of thunder that would soon follow.

It didn't come.

 _CLICK – CLICK - CLICK_

And the light kept flickering still.

On and off.

On and off, it went.

A dance of light and darkness across my periphery.

The light fixture swinging slightly, like a pendulum, as if a draft of wind had stirred it into action. It hanged by the wires attached to the ceiling, where brown water splotches and cracked and peeling paint, and moulds and mild dew, had accumulated around the paint's flaking edges.

The drops of rain water fell with a _TING ….TING …TING_ sounds as it hit the stainless bucket that I had placed on the creaking floorboards.

And still, the light stuttered.

On and off, on and off.

 _CLICK – CLICK - CLICK_

I had stopped breathing then.

For the briefest of second, as the room was bathed in darkness, I felt like I had been transported to _that_ place again; to that place that made my insides freeze with horror, where it wrapped its familiar embrace around my thundering heart, squeezing and squeezing until my throat constricted.

 _No, no, no, no…NO!_

I hated the darkness.

(I still do.)

I hated it since I was a child, more so when it was accompanied by the clap of thunder.

I recalled my grip tightening around the pen that I held in my left hand, knuckles turning pale, my face must have been white as well.

hen there was another bright flash from the outside, lightning crackled, and the electricity went haywire.

It brought unpleasant memories into the surface that was better left forgotten; of things that I tried very hard to _bury._

There was a sense of fear creeping up my spine as the I started to hear the prayers I had recited when I was a child echoing in my mind; the haunting echo of a child in need of a savior.

 _In the name of thy father…_

There was another rumble as

Suddenly, the lightbulb completely burst, sparks flying as well as shards of glass. right before the room was enveloped in complete darkness.

I remember the image of a figure standing before

The pen in my hand stilling.

I was breathing the musty scent of old things, of forgotten things, in a poorly-circulated room, when I had caught the whiff of rain, of crisp grass, and of freshly-dug earth permeating the air.

Those scents alone should have told me that someone, other than me, was there.

A storm had been raging outside when he came breezing into my life.

The noise of the rain battering on the rooftop above me had drowned the tinkle of the bell as he came in. I hadn't been made aware of his presence until I heard him calling.

"Hello?"

His voice had been loud, loud enough that I was able to focus on it instead of the thunder that pierced through the gloomy weather outside.

His voice had been overly masculine, and cultured.

"I'll be right with you in a sec," I had responded.

….

The instant I walked out and saw him, it felt like I was hit by a truck, the sight of him simply knocked my breath away. I could even say that

He was a handsome man. No, not handsome. But beautiful.

I was mesmerized by him, drawn to him like I've never had with any man.

And a part of me was afraid.

The part that allowed me to keep from getting too attached to the men that fell into every seductive web that I have cast.

And he must had experienced the same thing when I saw his blue-grey eyes widened.

He was wearing _The North Face McMurdo Parka_ in black and grey colour and with a faux fur hood. A waterproof parka that was half-way opened that I had seen his dress shirt beneath.

He wore a crisp white shirt from Brunello Cucinelli, purely made of cotton design, with starched cutaway collar, and perfectly tailored to ensure a neat and slim-fit appearance. Even with his parka and the decent amount of clothing over him, I could tell that he had the body who constantly goes to the gymn.

That's when I saw the wedding band on his ring finger.

And when he saw where my eyes had landed, he stiffened, the smile froze on his lips, and there was a flash of shame in his eyes as if he was embarrassed that he was married.

I watched him hastily tucked his hands into the front pockets of his parka, and hiding his wedding ring. His smile now strained.

I was amused.

Did he think him being married would deter me from completely flirting with him?

He wasn't the first man that I had done so, and certainly won't be the last.

After all, I had one married benefactor and another one, who would do anything for me.

I know how to play this seduction games, and I know how to please a man.

And I know that he would be mine in no time.

However, at that time, I didn't know who he truly was to me.

….

Afterwards, he found reasons to come visit me in the shop, especially when I hinted that I don't mind that he was a married man.

A couple of days later, I slept with him.

Of course, I didn't know who he truly was until he told me his story and when he discovered who I was…

Let's just say that he was disgusted with what we did, as do I, even though we didn't know that we were blood related at the time of our affair.

"Get in," He ordered me into his car one day.

"I said get in!"

And I have no choice but to follow.

"How long have you known?"

I was silent when he asked me the question.

"Was this your plan all along?!"

I don't even understand what he was implying.

"Answer me!"

"No," I said to him.

"I don't believe you."

There was a pause.

"How much money do you want?! One million?! Five?! How much is it to keep you silent?!"

"If I wanted money, I would have blackmailed you months ago, don't you think?!"

"Then, why didn't you?!"

"I – I…"

I never get to truly answer him.

….

…

.

I really didn't care for his money now that I know who he truly was to me. The only thing I care about was for him to love me….because all I want is a family. And he _is_ _family_.

However, he never did understand why I keep coming back to him.

…..

I always go back to him no matter what, even though he hurts me with mere words.

"Why are you even here?! Isn't one billion enough to satisfy you, you greedy little slut?!"

I flinched. He had never yelled at me. Not ever. Seeing her there, in his own house, must have snapped something inside him.

"The yearly stipend that we had previously settled is not enough. I want more…" I told him that day.

 _I want more than the money. Can't you see that?! Can't you understand that?!_ I wanted to scream at him, tobeat my fists against his chest, to claw his face off from his skull until I couldn't see his handsome face through my mind's eye.

But above all, I wanted to cry.

 _Can't you see the true reason why I'm there?!_

No, he didn't.

He looked furious.

"Do you mean, you want _his_ inheritance?! You want a position in the Board of Directors in the Moor Enterprise, or do you want the entire family fortune?!"

"All of it," I lied to him.

"It's always money with you, isn't it?! You probably don't even care about _him_!"

 _Or even me._ He was telling me with his eyes; those blue-grey eyes.

I was silent. I couldn't speak. My throat was tight with an emotion that I don't want to voice out.

"You disgust me!" He said.

…..

…

…

"You had her killed, didn't you?" He asked me a year after.

"Yes,"

"Why?"

"She was close to finding out the truth about me…and about you – _us_. She had to go…"

His silence was telling. I knew he was angry at me.

"She's better off dead. At least, the Titus Corp will be passed down to you..."

He walked out on her.

…

I had secrets that I wish to keep hidden, but it seems I can never hide some of it from him.

"I know what you've been doing with the money that I had sent you. I had it traced."

I tensed, my gut twisting at his words. Fear. Dread. Anticipation. I couldn't tell.

I was afraid more than anything.

A pregnant pause.

"When are you going to tell me?" He asked, his voice barely above whisper. I felt him moved closer to where I was standing next to the window, my eyes towards the other man outside.

"When are you going to tell me that you've been using the money to donate them to the Orphanages and helped those children?"

 _He doesn't know yet. He doesn't know…He doesn't know about our children. Thank God…_

"I know why you're trying to help those orphans. Is it because you were an orphan once?"

 _Close. So close to finding out the truth._

"Yes,"

"Tamorra…Come here."

It was the day that he finally said he loved me….and then I killed him after.

He can never find out the children that I have brought into this world.

Because I hid the truth from the world that I slept with my father and married my half-brother, where I both bore them sons and daugthers.

Most people didn't know about my blood relation to the Riddle family because I was raise in an Orphanage.

I was raised alone and unloved.

….

You know who I was.

You know who I am.

You know who I would become..

You know who…

No need to whisper my name.

…..

Once there was a child, who prayed every night.

A child full of hope and a secret wish guarded carefully within her heart.

A child who was taught to believe in God above all else.

A child who began and end her prayers with the sign of the cross and the holy trinity.

In the name of the father.

And of the son.

And of the holy spirit.

Amen…

Dear Lord, I hope you can hear me...

My name is Tamorra Gaunt...

….

A child who only wished for a family.

….

I may be gone.

But my legacy will continue among the seven, orphan children that I left behind.

My _children_.

My gift and curse.

Through them, I have become immortal.

My spirit will be watching over them.


End file.
